Sometimes we spend our life apologizing for the decisions we have made in the past, for a variety of reasons. Parents, friends, and children. Sometimes apologies are very appropriate. Sometimes, they're not needed.
When talking about how everyone was raised in the church, at least those who grew up in my era, not going to movies, dances, not smoking, or drinking; I don't think an apology is needed for the decisions that were made, it's just the way things were. That was how we lived if we were Christians, these were the new "disciplines". Those boundaries defined what it meant to be holy. Be it right or wrong, and thank goodness the church continues to mature, it was just the way things were.
That's probably why when I was growing up we, at least from my tradition, had problems with the Lutheran minister who lived down the street from us and was an alcoholic. Or that's why we struggled with the Catholic family, who's son happened to be one of my best friends, but whose dad smoked. The issue wasn't that they were "bad" people, it was because of the "things" they did, that were different that what we did.
I remember when I had that conversation with my dad about not being able to go to Jungle Book that Saturday afternoon with Eric Friedland. I was 9. I remember where I was standing in the front lawn of our home in Hillsdale, MI. I remember how much it hurt; but that was the way it was. My dad, as a minister in the church, had to uphold the standards of the church, which not going to the theater happened to be one of. I didn't understand it, may not have agreed with, was inconvenienced by it, but it was the way it was.
Here's where I want to get with this conversation: isn't that the way it always is? Shouldn't there be standards that "mark" us as people of faith, and distinguish us from those who aren't. No, we haven't always done it well (orthopraxy), but I think we've really been trying. Is it still okay to try? Is it still okay to "work out our Salvation with fear and trembling"?
Oh, maybe movies and dancing weren't the issue, is that safe to say? Maybe smoking and alcohol aren't either, which is more controversial to say. In saying that though, there will always be standards that mark us, and some mark us even more distinctively as different members of the same Body. Some will think nothing of drinking wine, or more than wine on occasion, while others have deep convictions related to the drinking of alcohol. I hope that's okay, because it's just the way it is.
In my Christian Formation class, we use one of our creeds, called the Apostles Creed, to unite us. When I take a poll in that class, I have a variety of denominations represented, from the most liturgical of traditions, Catholic and Lutheran; to those identified more as evangelical; EV Free, Baptist, and Nazarene. Yet, in that class, there are certain truths that keep us one. There are also certain "truths" for each of us that distinguishes one from the other. I think I'm okay with that. We need to hear from all sides in this, don't we. I just don't want us to start thinking the eye is more important than the nose, if you know what I mean.
So all that being said, as I sit and write on this Saturday and continue to reflect on the church and my childhood, I'm the first to admit that there were some quirky issues the church had when I was growing up. There always have been, ask your kids. My parents did make mistakes, and I followed right in their footsteps with my kids. Yet in all that quirkiness, I never doubted the heart of my parents, I knew they loved me. And with all the blemishes in the church, these same issues make us who we are. I hope today, we remember that. It's the way it is.
When talking about how everyone was raised in the church, at least those who grew up in my era, not going to movies, dances, not smoking, or drinking; I don't think an apology is needed for the decisions that were made, it's just the way things were. That was how we lived if we were Christians, these were the new "disciplines". Those boundaries defined what it meant to be holy. Be it right or wrong, and thank goodness the church continues to mature, it was just the way things were.
That's probably why when I was growing up we, at least from my tradition, had problems with the Lutheran minister who lived down the street from us and was an alcoholic. Or that's why we struggled with the Catholic family, who's son happened to be one of my best friends, but whose dad smoked. The issue wasn't that they were "bad" people, it was because of the "things" they did, that were different that what we did.
I remember when I had that conversation with my dad about not being able to go to Jungle Book that Saturday afternoon with Eric Friedland. I was 9. I remember where I was standing in the front lawn of our home in Hillsdale, MI. I remember how much it hurt; but that was the way it was. My dad, as a minister in the church, had to uphold the standards of the church, which not going to the theater happened to be one of. I didn't understand it, may not have agreed with, was inconvenienced by it, but it was the way it was.
Here's where I want to get with this conversation: isn't that the way it always is? Shouldn't there be standards that "mark" us as people of faith, and distinguish us from those who aren't. No, we haven't always done it well (orthopraxy), but I think we've really been trying. Is it still okay to try? Is it still okay to "work out our Salvation with fear and trembling"?
Oh, maybe movies and dancing weren't the issue, is that safe to say? Maybe smoking and alcohol aren't either, which is more controversial to say. In saying that though, there will always be standards that mark us, and some mark us even more distinctively as different members of the same Body. Some will think nothing of drinking wine, or more than wine on occasion, while others have deep convictions related to the drinking of alcohol. I hope that's okay, because it's just the way it is.
In my Christian Formation class, we use one of our creeds, called the Apostles Creed, to unite us. When I take a poll in that class, I have a variety of denominations represented, from the most liturgical of traditions, Catholic and Lutheran; to those identified more as evangelical; EV Free, Baptist, and Nazarene. Yet, in that class, there are certain truths that keep us one. There are also certain "truths" for each of us that distinguishes one from the other. I think I'm okay with that. We need to hear from all sides in this, don't we. I just don't want us to start thinking the eye is more important than the nose, if you know what I mean.
So all that being said, as I sit and write on this Saturday and continue to reflect on the church and my childhood, I'm the first to admit that there were some quirky issues the church had when I was growing up. There always have been, ask your kids. My parents did make mistakes, and I followed right in their footsteps with my kids. Yet in all that quirkiness, I never doubted the heart of my parents, I knew they loved me. And with all the blemishes in the church, these same issues make us who we are. I hope today, we remember that. It's the way it is.
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